Pandora's Box
by Vivere Sine Timore
Summary: They'd opened Pandora's box, and everything changed between them. She noticed things he would do, things that would rub her the wrong way. And that's how she knew. She knew the longing was gone.


Hugging a thin sweater to her frame, Natara stepped out of her house and watched the sun rise over the water. She knew just how lucky she was to own a house right on the beach; she had finally made up with her father about four years ago, and he bought her the house as a congratulations.

She'd ended up resigning from the FBI and starting her own business after all, and she supposed that's part of the reason her father had forgiven her so easily. It wasn't a large business, just a small boutique on the boardwalk that sold women's clothes and accessories. Still, it was enough for her and growing quickly.

She lifted her head and let the warm Florida sun warm her face (a voice in her head told her it was the same sun everywhere). She'd moved to Orlando a few years back and she considered it one of the smartest things for her that she'd ever done. San Francisco just... hadn't worked out.

Truth be told, she wasn't even sure she missed Mal. Amy, Ken, Maria and yes, even Kai, sure she missed. But Mal? When she thought of him, nothing happened. None of the butterflies she used to get, her face didn't heat up, her heart didn't even quicken. She supposed, though, that the reason was obvious.

Everything they'd had going for them, everything their relationship was, was built upon the tension between the two of them. Sure, at first the tension had been annoying, and later on unbearable. She realized now that it was the reason she got up in the mornings, the reason she looked forward to spending time with Mal so much. It was the longing, the desire, the need to be completely his. And finally, one day, they gave into it. She felt her cheeks grow red as she recalled the things they did that night. She'd woken up in his arms while he was still asleep, gotten dressed and had silently left.

And everything changed between them. She started noticing little things he did instead, things that would irk her and annoy her and rub her the wrong way. Soon they were having screaming matches in the car or in conference rooms. Then Mal requested a new partner, saying that he "couldn't stand to work with her anymore."

And she knew that the longing was gone.

It wasn't even that he had been bad. She felt the blush creep back to her cheeks as she recalled just how good he was. She knew that it was because they had opened Pandora's box. They'd given into their curiosity and, as a consequence, destroyed their entire relationship. Because without the tension, without the desire, the were lost. They had nothing to go on, nothing to look forward to, and they got bored of each other, in a sense.

Natara resigned shortly after Ken was assigned as Mal's new partner. She'd said her good-byes to everyone in the station, some tearful and some not. She'd flown out to DC to hand in her official resignation and her badge, and she'd walked away from the only career she'd known. For a while she had lived with her parents, trying to decide what to do with her life.

And that was when she noticed the signs. It started with the nausea so deep, her bones ached. Then came the fatigue that had her dragging by noon, and finally, the absence of red stains in her underwear. She apologized to her father after she found out, and he'd bought her the house. He helped her get back on her feet and open her boutique.

"Mommy?" Natara turned and smiled at the little girl emerging onto the back porch, still in her Barbie pajamas and clutching her security blanket. Charlotte rubbed her eyes with her fists, and Natara quickly scooped the three-year-old up into her arms and placed kisses all over Charlotte's face.

"Mommy, stop it," the girl giggled. Natara placed one last kiss on her daughter's nose, and she scrunched it up and wiped the kiss off.

"Good morning, princess."

"Morning, Mommy." She stuck her thumb in her mouth and rested her head against Natara's shoulder. She looked just like Natara had when she was her age, but she had Mal's cerulean blue eyes instead of her own hazel ones. She was the little girl Natara had dreamed of her entire life, and she'd become her world.

"How about you come with me to work today?" Natara asked, placing a kiss on top of the girl's hair. "I'm sure Carol would love to have you help her. Charlotte nodded silently, and Natara carried her back inside the warm house. They paused at the only picture of Mal that Natara allowed inside the house, a simple portrait of him from the SFPD.

"Love you, Daddy," Charlotte murmured.

Natara sighed inwardly. She wasn't his, and she never would be. She just wasn't meant to be with him She ourned the loss of her friend, but still felt nothing for him. She wouldn't keep her daughter from him, but nor did she ever want Charlotte to find him.

Squeezing her daughter to her gently, she carried Charlotte into her bedroom and began getting ready for the day.


End file.
